What women say they want vs what they actually respond to (uncomfortable truth)

Hey,

Let's talk about the most convenient lie in modern dating:

"Women prefer dad bods. They don't like overly muscular guys. They want someone relatable and comfortable."

Sounds nice, right? Takes the pressure off. You can stay soft and tell yourself it's what women actually prefer.

Here's the problem: it's complete BS.

What women SAY vs what they're attracted to:

Women will tell you they prefer "dad bods" or "a little chub is cute."

Then they swipe right on the shredded guy. They stare at the fit guy at the beach. They date the guy who takes care of himself.

Actions > words. Always.

This isn't about being mean to women. It's biology and social dynamics.

Physical fitness signals discipline, self-control, health, and genetic quality. These are attractive traits. They've been attractive for thousands of years.

A dad bod signals "I've given up" or "I don't prioritize myself." That's not attractive. It's tolerated at best.

The uncomfortable truth:

Fit, muscular guys get more attention. More respect. More opportunities in dating.

They're approached more. They have more options. Their partners are more physically affectionate. Other men treat them better too.

This isn't opinion—it's observable reality if you've ever been both out of shape and in shape.

When you're in shape, the world responds to you differently. Doors open. Conversations start easier. You're given the benefit of the doubt.

When you're out of shape? You're invisible. Or worse, dismissed before you even speak.

Why "dad bod acceptance" is cope:

Let's be real: "dad bod acceptance" is a narrative pushed by guys who don't want to do the work.

It's easier to say "women prefer this" than to admit you're unwilling to eat right, train consistently, and prioritize your health.

It's a cope. A comfortable lie that lets you avoid accountability.

And sure, some women will say they're fine with it. Maybe they genuinely are. But settling for "fine" isn't the goal.

You don't want a partner who tolerates your body. You want one who's genuinely attracted to it.

Building muscle isn't shallow—it's self-respect:

Getting in shape isn't about vanity. It's about discipline.

It says: "I respect myself enough to take care of my body."

It says: "I have the discipline to set a goal and achieve it."

It says: "I don't make excuses. I show up and do the work."

Those qualities? THAT'S what's actually attractive. The physique is just the visible proof.

When you transform your body, you're demonstrating character traits that matter in every area of life.

Women aren't attracted to abs alone. They're attracted to the man who has the discipline to build them.

The confidence shift that happens when you get in shape:

This is what nobody tells you:

When you build a great physique, your confidence changes everything.

You walk differently. You make eye contact. You speak with certainty. You take up space without apologizing.

That confidence is magnetic. It affects how people respond to you in every interaction—professional, social, romantic.

And here's the kicker: that confidence comes from knowing you did something hard. You proved to yourself you're capable.

That internal shift is worth more than the external validation, though you'll get plenty of that too.

The reality check:

You don't need to be shredded year-round. You don't need to be a bodybuilder.

But you should be fit. Visible muscle. Under 15% body fat. Strong enough to handle real-world physical demands.

That's not asking too much. That's baseline self-respect in a modern world where fitness is 100% within your control.

Stop hiding behind "dad bods are in" and start building something you're proud of.

So ask yourself:

Are you actually happy with your body? Or are you telling yourself women prefer it this way to avoid doing the work?

Are you settling for "tolerated" when you could be genuinely desired?

Are you making excuses, or are you making progress?

The uncomfortable truth is this: getting in shape changes how people treat you, how you see yourself, and what opportunities become available to you.

You can reject that truth and stay comfortable. Or you can accept it and do something about it.

The 12 Week Aesthetic Body Blueprint is for guys who are done making excuses and ready to build the physique—and the confidence—that actually changes their life.

Stop believing the lie. Start building the truth.

Grab the blueprint here and transform into the version of yourself that doesn't need cope narratives.

BJ | Howtogrowmuscles

I hope you found this helpful. If you have a moment, take a look at this 👇🏻

Meet the Best Alcohol Replacement of the Season

As the nights get colder and holiday gatherings fill the calendar, I’ve been craving a new kind of ritual—something warm, social, and feel-good, without the fogginess that often follows a drink. And this season, I found it.

Meet Vesper, Pique’s brand-new, non-alcoholic adaptogenic aperitif—and truly one of the most exciting launches they’ve ever released. Crafted with rare botanicals and science-backed ingredients, it delivers everything I love about a drink: the unwind, the mood lift, the sense of connection… just without the alcohol.

Each sip brings a soft drop in the shoulders, a gentle lift in spirit, and a clear, grounded presence. Sparkling, tart, and herbaceous, Vesper feels luxurious and intentionally crafted—perfect for holiday parties, cozy nights in, and an elevated start to Dry January.

Because it’s new (and already going viral), it will sell out fast.

Get 10% off for life